I think
that you should stress on ‘think’
rather than ‘I’,
and also
try not to fall in the gap
between the words.

Just because I can’t say whatever it is I want to say, doesn’t mean you can’t hear it.

Quoting Maugham

“Insensibly he formed the most delightful habit in the world, the habit of reading: he did not know that thus he was providing himself with a refuge from all the distress of life; he did not know either that he was creating for himself an unreal world which would make the real world of everyday a source of bitter disappointment.”

- Of Human Bondage

The Master

The Master by Colm Toibin is a novel about Henry James, an American novelist who lived much of his life in England. Henry James wrote in the end of the 19th century and the early 20th. Some of his novels which he is famous for are The Portrait of a Lady, Daisy Miller, and a short story entitled The Taming of the Screw. His brother was the famous philosopher and psychologist William James.
The book was recently written, though while reading it I felt as if I was actually reading a book written in the days of Henry James, and despite that I am more easily engrossed in the contemporary novel I still found this captivating, though some small parts of the novel seemed slow.
I enjoyed the book, which I took as a precursor to reading Henry James’s work, perhaps I’ll start with The Portrait of a Lady.

Rules of Conduct in Debates

I believe that there are certain rules of conduct one should follow in a discussion or a debate if one wants to achieve anything and actually reach a conclusion or find common ground with the “opponent”, and I believe I will learn more about these rules as I grow and learn throughout the years. I’d like to write down the rules I’ve gathered so far, so I can always keep them in mind and remind myself of them.

1. Be calm. This doesn’t mean that you just behave in a calm manner, it means that you should actually feel calm. If you were to be aggravated and there’s a way for you to delay your response then you should delay your response until you are calm. Of course, this is difficult to do when one is in a live discussion, but can be done when one debates on the Internet.
2. Always try to find something you agree with in the other person’s argument. This person could be the foulest of people, and saying the vilest arguments against you, your family, your friends, your people, your religion, your prophet, your god, and still you should find something however remotely that you agree with. What this will achieve is that you will narrow down the points of discussion, instead of wasting your breath getting heated about things you actually agree with.
3. Be clear in your understanding of definitions. Many times you will find that you and your opponent differ in your understanding of certain terms, and this creates confusion, misunderstanding and a pointless debate.
4. Be polite no matter what. No sarcasm, cynicism or plain ridicule.
5. Find the core reason or principle that you are discussing and restrict your discussion to that. Do not waste your time with branched out issues, maybe sometimes you will get into a discussion about something that is actually an issue that comes from a root problem and you should find that root. Solving the problem at the root helps the other person see other branched-problems differently, whereas if you were to only solve a branched-problem there will always be other issues that will remain misunderstood.
6. See through the smoke. Sometimes a person will say a lot of things that lack any real information, it’s just drama. See through that and look for information to discuss, don’t get sidetracked by the smoke.

If you have any points to add or even discuss, feel free to drop a comment.

My humble thoughts.

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Lessons from within

One can really learn a lot of things from the different experiences in life. If we only understood Life’s lessons, there are lessons we can learn from just about anything, we just need to observe the messages, sometimes they’re very subliminal.

I once wrote to myself about the strange effects different words have on me, how we hear names of people we love and it just pleases us, while hearing the names of people who’ve caused me pain just brings about pangs of pain. So I would never use their names, I avoided using things that have any semblance to them and so on. A few days ago, I somehow remembered a quote:
“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself”.

This is a quote from Harry Potter, essentially a children’s book, but I wish I had thought of this before and learned from it.  What’s funny is that I just remembered it, it’s not that I was re-reading the book or something, I just recollected it from memory. It was a lesson, hidden in the recesses of my mind.

I wonder how many other lessons there are within me.

Meeting with Farrukh Naeem

I finally met Farrukh Naeem last night. Farrukh is a copy writer based in Abu Dhabi, I came across his blog last week as I was searching for jobs for writers in the UAE. I was wondering what it was that writers could do with their skills, what profit can be gained from their talents. I had seen some of his writings many moons ago (maybe as long ago as a year or more). He had also left comments on mine, though it’s such a long time ago that I don’t think he remembers it.

I noticed he was very friendly on his blog and very willing to assist others in his field. He gave them tips, he offered to meet them and so on. I felt that this was someone I can call up to discuss writing with and learn more from. I was also admittedly biased towards him when I saw the long beard he sported, and that probably helped encourage me to contact him. I called him up and we spoke briefly, I asked to meet him and was looking quite forward to it.

Yesterday we spent almost 3 hours talking about various things. Writing in itself, as Farrukh said, had a huge range of genres, methods and techniques within it, it’s a whole world. When we spoke of writing I felt as if I was discussing a lover, and Farrukh seemed to share the passion. It was a delight for me to talk of writing with someone who actually had professional experience with writing.

I spoke to him about the issues I find with writing, the problems I face and the flaws I see in my own writing, and he was quite helpful and very encouraging. I think one of the best things I came out of from the meeting was more confidence in my own written work. Every writer has his own way, his own style, and we should trust our own voices.

I felt much more relaxed after that, and I think I will be more courageous in the future in revealing what I write to others.

Excerpt from The Count of Monte Cristo

“But you will not leave me; you will come to me, or you will let me come to you. We will escape, and if we cannot escape we will talk, you of those whom you love, and I of those whom I love. You must love somebody?”
“No, I am all alone in the world.”

“Then you will love me. If you are young, I will be your comrade; if you are old, I will be your son. I have a father who is seventy if he yet lives; I only love him and a girl called Mercedes. My father has not yet forgotten me, I am sure; but God alone knows if she loves me still: I shall love you as I love my father.”

An excerpt from “The Count of Monte Cristo”, which I’m currently reading and enjoying thoroughly. This is a conversation between the protagonist Edmond Dantes and another prisoner, the first time in six or seven years he speaks to someone other than his jailers.